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PubMedLie National Library of Nonsense

MeSH Topic

Nutrition

2 indexed study(ies)

1.

Bilateral Intravenous Reprocessing for Acute Morning-After Syndrome: A Seven-Arm Randomized Controlled Trial of Drip Laterality, Drip Tempo, and Prosecco

Zhdanov VG, Belozertseva LP, Secretariat WCFAS.

International Journal of Drip-Assisted Sobriety. 2026;7(3):211-229.

Bilateral cadence arms (3, 4) were non-inferior to constant-rate saline and indistinguishable from each other (Δregret = 0.1, p = 0.91); the 3-2-1, 2-1 rhythm reprocessed nothing the liver was not already processing. Regret fell identically across all infused arms over time, tracking arm 5 almost exactly (R² = 0.97), implying the active ingredient was lying horizontally attached to a beeping pole while someone fussed over you. The Prosecco arm reported the lowest regret at hour 8 and the highest everything-else by hour 16.

PMID: 82360321 · Cited by 5,310 ·Randomized Controlled Trial

2.

Edible Bilateral Fixation Targets in Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing: Margherita-Right, Capricciosa-Left Saccadic Tracking Shortens Phase 4 Threefold and Reduces Body Mass — A Randomized Controlled Trial

Katsarava N.

Journal of Appetitive Reprocessing. 2026;4(3):e0144-e0162.

BAF shortened Phase 4 threefold (mean 42 to 14 minutes; p < 0.049, barely) and produced greater SUDS reduction than finger-tracking (Δ = −2.6). Saccadic velocity was higher toward the Capricciosa, scaling with topping count (r = 0.94), suggesting salience is carried by the toppings. Unexpectedly, BAF participants lost weight (mean −3.1 kg) across eight weeks spent looking rapidly at warm pizza they were not permitted to eat — attributable to sustained appetitive exposure without consummation and to the cardiovascular cost of brisk bilateral saccades. The participant who swapped the pizzas reprocessed nothing and gained 0.4 kg.

PMID: 81960726 · Cited by 3,880 ·Randomized Controlled Trial